Hellfire Straight Moonshine Whiskey

Disclaimer:
Bull-dikes, feminists, dumb cunts, men with no balls, anyone under 18, and PC mutherfuckers that lack a dark sense of humor read no further! This page will offend you. You'll end up writing us a shitty letter and we will laugh at you! Then we'll print your letter in the hate mail section and make fun of you! It is not worth your time and effort, take your concerned ass elsewhere, or simply FUCK OFF.

Ever wonder why the Rotten Cotton staff is so damn cool? How do we "clock" all the fine ass bitches? Why do chicks of all ages drop their panties when we enter a room? Well, it has been a closely guarded secret for the past few years now but after receiving daily emails from guys that can't seem to get laid, we have decided to help out our fellow brothers.

It all started out in the early 1999 when our great uncle Jasper died of an enlarged liver from years of drinking like a man. Uncle Jasp was a notorious Moonshiner from North Carolina, for over 70 years Jasp was the king of Moonshine Whiskey throughout the land. If you got fucking swacked off Moonshine in Carolina, chances are it was from Jasper's hundred year-old still. Old Jasper's corn mash process revolutionized Moonshine making in the south and this catapulted him to instant fame. His special brand of Moonshine became the best selling shit through the years. The folks in Jasper's hometown saw how much pussy he was slammin' because of his smooth-shine and everyone wanted in on the fun. Within a few years all of North Carolina became one big drunk sloppy fuck. The women were all passed out and had no idea what the fuck was going on (why does my butthole hurt?) but that's the way it should be…

At the reading of Uncle Jasper's last will and testament we were fucking stunned to hear that he left the Rotten Cotton Staff his legendary Still that had churned out years of pussy-magnet Moonshine! He also left us a sealed letter containing his secret recipe…

Jasper's Old Still

After a few months of trial and error we eventually got Uncle Jaspers shine recipe down to a science and before too long this 192 proof shit had replaced our favorite store bought liquor. We bottle the shit up nice with our own special labels and came up with the truly inspired name ROTTEN RAVEN… This fine booze is great for the liver, strengthens the heart, grows brain cells, and gets even the ugliest mother fuckers LAID! ROTTEN RAVEN can change any man from a weak wimp into an out of control party animal, (just look at us). Years of scientific studies have proven this fine Moonshine to be a pussy magnet. Yes, ROTTEN RAVEN is the most powerful aphrodisiac know to man. Something about this special shine aged in Uncle Jasper's 100 year old still gets the bitches hot (and wet). It also gets them passed out real quick so you can have your way with them sexually and steal a little cash out of their purse. The look on their face when they wake up sticky, broke, and confused is priceless. When they ask what happen just tell them, "You've been bit by the Beak baby!"

We never had intentions of selling our Moonshine because contrary to popular belief we pay our taxes and run a legit t-shirt business. Making Moonshine is legal but selling it isn't because the government misses out on the tax revenue it collects on legally distilled liquor. The last thing we want if problems with the fucking assholes that run our government. So ROTTEN RAVEN WHISKEY is NOT for sale and don't bother asking, we only make it for personal use and we sample it at parties we throw throughout the year…But we do have ROTEN RAVEN Tees for sale!!! (See Below!) And if you are cool enough to know us or hang with us you may get the chance to sample some ROTTEN RAVEN Moonshine at the next bash…

Here is a collection of quotes and stories from friends and acquaintances that have tried ROTTEN RAVEN at some or our private parties:

"…my girl friend never wanted to try anal sex until we tossed back some of your ROTTEN RAVEN at the last Rotten Cotton get-together… later that night I spread her drunk-ass cheeks and road her butthole for at least an hour. When I pulled out, my cock was cover with shit and a chunk of mushroom from the pizza we ate earlier! Thanks for making life worth living guys!"
- Alex Lazar

"…thanks for the invite guys, had a fucking blast! ROTTEN RAVEN is the fucking shit! I got my cock sucked by some skank (can't remember her fucking name now, but does it matter anyway?) in your back yard. Later that night I did some lines off her tits, then we shaved her privates with a straight razor!!!"
-David Keller

"I'm a good customer, I order all your shit, but I don't know you guys personally, so I've never had the chance to try ROTTEN RAVEN…But I did buy the ROTTEN RAVEN shirt and I'm writing to tell you my life has never been the same. That shirt is a fucking hot chick magnet! Whenever I wear it my confidence and self-esteem are boosted and the chicks are drawn to me like shit on flies! The shirt is a genuine conversation piece and before ya know it, my tongue is so far up some chick's butt, I can taste what she had for breakfast! You guys RULE!
-Mitch Mayes

The ROTTEN RAVEN Shirts are now available!
$16.99 each (Medium through XXL) for size XXXL add and extra $3 fat ass!


#366 Rotten Raven

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